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Syl Arena Patents Anti-Gravity Hair Spray | PixSylated

anti-gravity-hair-spray_1094

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Paso Robles, California, April 1, 2009

Syl Arena announced today that after years of work, his formula for anti-gravity hairspray has been awarded a patent by the USPTO. Arena, who works as a commercial photographer and writes the blog PixSylated, said “It just shows that you never say never. Never ever. There were so many times when I wanted to quit. This is a great day for dreamers and guys with lousy hair around the world.”

When asked why he invested so much into the project, Arena said “It just seemed like the right thing to do. I mean, so many of my friends have that kind of hair that just lays there. You know, on top of their heads. I knew this would be a way to boost their self-esteem.”

In a related announcement, Isaac Newton Hair Products (NASDAQ: ISNEW) announced from their London headquarters that they have licensed the worldwide rights to Arena’s formula. While not confirmed, industry insiders murmured that Arena’s advance on the deal may have exceeded $100M and that annual royalties are expected to be twice that number.

When asked about his future, Arena said that when not working on new ideas for PixSylated, he’ll focus his work on breeding giant chickens. “World hunger is a global problem these days,” Arena observed. “We don’t understand the connection, but chickens really seem to thrive on my hairspray.”

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6 Responses to Syl Arena Patents Anti-Gravity Hair Spray

  1. C Cotrell says:

    Great news!!! I just won the lotery and was looking for a good place to invest my money…that chicken idea sounds like the way to go. Let me know how I can help!!!

  2. Flanagan says:

    Jajajaja, where can I pre-order one of those!

  3. David Hobby says:

    Dear Mr. Arena, hereafter referred to as The Defendant;

    We are writing to inform you that our client, David Hobby, tried your antigravity hairspray and it worked — too well. It lifted his hair to the point that it pulled it right the hell out of his head.

    He is now mostly bald.

    Appropriate papers will be filed shortly in federal court.

    Signed,
    The legal team at Dewey, Cheatham and Howe

  4. Stormin Norm says:

    Aww, that Mr Hobby stole my thunder…

    though now we may have a CLASS ACTION SUIT for irreverisible follicle trauma and mental anguish

    However, you may have a claim for infringement against Carrot Top
    http://www.carrottop.com/

  5. krista lee says:

    Where do I buy this fabulous hairspray?? I think we should also consider buying Joe some… This would look great on him.. Ha! And btw David Hobby’s comment is HI-Larious!

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